Book of texts: Attack on Titan!
by Gaybacon
Summary: another book of texts but this one is of attack on titan! (hope it was funny i tried) rated M because of the constant cussing from the characters
1. Chapter 1

**== A.N. ==**

 **So yeah hi!**

 **This is my book of texts for Attack on Titan**

 **Yay!**

 **I was bored so I wrote this**

 **(I don't own the characters)**

 **Ok you can read now *grins***

Book of texts: Attack on Titan!

 _ **Mikasa to Eren**_

 _Eren_

 _Yes, Mikasa?_ __

 _Can you tell me something?_

 _Sure_

 _Do you know were Armin hid my bra?_

 _*chokes on spit* WHAT!_

 _Do you know were Armin hid my bra?_

 _WHY WOULD ARMIN HIDE YOUR BRA!_

 _Idk? So do you know where he hid it?_

 _No, why would I know?_

 _Because, Armin tells you everything…._

 _Not everything…_

 _He told you he was gay before he told me…._

 _Yeah, I guess_

 _And that he's dating Jean…_

 _*chokes on spit* WHAT!_

 _Got to go! I found my bra!_

 _Mikasa!_

 _(No response)_

 _Mikasa!_

 _(Still nothing)_

 _MIKASA!_

 _ **The end!**_

 **== A.N. ==**

 **Heheheh…. How was it?**

 **I ship Jean and Armin… so yee…. I fell in love with the ship after I read a story (but that's beside the point…..)**

 **Was it at least funny? I tried**

 **It's short but meh I didn't want to make it a big thing**

 **So yeah that was for attack on titan!**

 **Did you like it?**

 **I'll just write the little drabbles until I run out of ideas!**

 **Ight so thanks for reading, leave me a review do the other things, peace out! Love ya!**

 **Throws a bag of chips at you! (Exclamation points much?)**


	2. Chapter 2

**== A.N. ==**

 **I'm back with more dumb things!**

 **I was bored and wanted to write a conversation between Jean and Marco so here it is!**

 **(Unfortunately I don't own the characters)**

 **See u at the end**

 **ENJOY~!**

Book of texts: Attack on Titan (chapter two)

 _ **Jean to Marco**_

 _Yo Marco!_ __

 _Jean its 3 in the morning….._

 _Was u sleeping?_

 _No I was skydiving -_-_

 _Y u no takes me with you?_

 _*face-plants* its sarcasm_

 _Is that edible?_

… _._

 _What?_

 _You done being a dick? -_-_

 _Ye_

 _So now that I'm awake, what did you want?_

 _I forgot….. :/_

 _No comment._

 _Oh! I remembered!_

 _What was it?_

 _Did my butt look big in the new pants I wore today? ( :D)_

…

 _So did it or did it not?_

 _I'm going back to bed_

 _This is important!_

 _(No answer)_

 _Marco!_

 _(No answer)_

 _MARCO!_

 _(No answer)_

 _*calls Marco*_

 _What!_

 _So did my but look big?_

 _I will go to your house and kill you if you don't let me go back to sleep…_

 _*silence*_

 _Sweet dreams~! *hangs up*_

 _Tell me tomorrow~_

Marco yells: JEAN!

 **THE END~!**

 **== A.N. ==**

 **Was it good?**

 **Don't you just love Jean's butt? Hehehe**

 **Poor Marco *grins***

 **If you liked it leave me a review and tell me if you want more! :D**

 **BYE! Love you and thanks for reading!**

 ***Gives u a hug and shoves candy in your arms and runs away***


	3. Chapter 3

**== A.N. ==**

 **Warning! Some jokes may be offensive for some people (idk)**

 **So if you can't handle them don't complain (just wait till the new chapter)**

 **I tried to make it funny**

 **Enjoy! See u at the end**

Book of texts: Attack on Titan

 _ **Erwin and Levi**_

 _Hey Levi_

 _What is it Erwin?_

 _How's the weather down there? (XD)_

 _I don't know how about you come down here and tell me -_-_

 _Levi there's no need to get so defensive I was just trying to play around with you_

 _Ok then let me try one_

 _Ok….._

 _Erwin_

 _What?_

 _A shitty cowboy called he wants his ugly bolo tie back_

…

 _Hey Erwin who am I?_

 _I'm afraid to ask_

 _*looking in the mirror* its ErWIN not ErLOSE! (and that's how Erwin motivates himself for the day in the mornings….)_

 _You done yet -_-_

 _Two more? (:D)_

 _Fine_

 _Hey Erwin_

 _What?_

 _He-man called he wants his eyebrows back XD_

 _Funny… -_-_

 _I know_

 _What's next?_

 _So a man walks into a bar with a monkey_

 _And?_

 _I forgot the rest of the joke but your mom is a whore_

 _(:D)_

 _I'd tell you to go to hell…but…_

 _Why don't you?_

 _Because I work there and I don't want to see you every day_

 _I can't go to hell though_

 _Why?_

 _Satan still has a restraining order on me…_

 _Wow_

 _Yeah you having fun yet?_

 _No._

 _Good_

 _Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?_

 _No but it hurt pretty bad when I burned coming up from hell (: D)_

 _I love you_

 _Ok_

 _See u later?_

 _Yeah_

 _Ok bye! (:D)_

 **THE END!**

 **Tada! I'm done with another chapter (: D)**

 ***in a shitty commercial announcer's voice*:**

 **So how was it?**

 **You like?**

 **Was it sort of funny?**

 **Don't you just love how friendly they are to each other?**

 **Are you like: what's up with all the questions?**

 **Good for you!**

 ***back to normal voice***

 **Well that was another chapter I hope you enjoyed it and peace out and don't forget I love you**

 **Bye!**

 **(Box of doughnuts just for you)**


	4. Chapter 4

**== A.N. ==**

 **Hey I got a new attack on titan chapter!**

 **Well I tried to make it funny**

 **None of the characters belong to me…**

 **Enjoy! See u at the end!**

Book of texts: Attack on Titan (chapter four)

 _ **Jean to Marco**_

 **Jean:** _hey Marco!_

 **Marco:** __ _Jean I already told you that I don't have money; you spent it all last time when we went to the corner store (fatass…. [-_-] )_

 **Jean:** _No it's not that (well maybe later, when you do have money…)_

 **Marco:** Then what do you need

 **Jean:** _Help me study for tomorrow's math test!_

 **Marco:** _How?_

 **Jean:** __ _Give me a word problem or something!_

 **Marco:** __ _Ight, but I suck at writing problems…_

 **Jean:** _Just try! This is an emergency!_

 **Marco:** __ _Fine_

 **Jean:** _Just write one!_

 **Marco:** _Alright_

 **Marco:** _Give me a sec_

 **Jean:** _Ok_

 **Marco:** _if I throw a triangle out of the car and the car is going 75mph and velocity gets affected by the wind resistance, how many cupcakes can I buy from Levi Heichou with 1 human soul?_

 **Jean:** _I asked for help with studying, not for you to hurt my brain…_

 **Marco:** fine….

 **Marco:** __ _if a man has 37 bags of chips and eats 36 bags, what does he have?_

 **Jean:** _diabetes maybe_

 **Marco:** __ _[-_-] salty much?_

 **Jean:** _Give me another one, were in high school not kinder…_

 **Marco:** _Give me a sec to think of a new one_

 **Jean:** __ _Ight_

 **Marco:** __ _If tommy practices piano every day for 30 minutes for two weeks, what can you say about his rate of learning?_

 **Jean:** _Tommy is a nerd._

 **Marco:** __ _(-_-)_

 **Jean:** _Give me another one_

 **Marco:** _To change centimeters to meters, what do you do?_

 **Jean:** _Take out "centi"_

 **Marco:** _Sandra goes to the store and buys watermelons, each watermelon is $3.00 and she buys 54 watermelons, what will the casher ask her and what can you concur?_

 **Jean:** _the cashier will be like: What. The. Fuck. Is. Wrong. With. You. Me: Sandra has a lot of money and is addicted to watermelons._

 **Jean:** _Right?_

 **Marco:** __ _No. [-_-]_

 **Marco:** __ _Are you going to start taking this seriously, because if you are not I'm not going to keep helping you._

 **Jean:** _Nah, your problems are making things worse_

 **Marco:** __ _(-_-) fuck you_

 **Jean:** _How hard?_

 **Marco:** __ _Do you seriously want to go? I will kill you…._

 **Jean:** _Bring it_

 **Marco:** __ _*walks to Jean's house*_

 **Jean:** _*hides in closet*_

 **Marco:** __ _* pounds on door*OPEN THE DOOR!_

 **Jean:** _NO! I WAS JUST KIDDING!_

 **Marco:** __ _Too late for that now, prepare to die *pulls out prison shank*_

 **Jean:** _I'M SORRY!_

 **Marco:** __ _For what?_

 **Jean:** _For how bad you are at math! XD_

 **Marco:** __ _*cries* I'm going back home…_

 **Jean:** _*it starts raining*_

 **Marco:** __ _Fuck you *cries while walking home*_

Jean failed the math test and Marco got a B+…

 _ **Afterschool the same day they got the results back from the math test…**_

 **Marco:** __ _Ha-ha you're a failure! *points and laughs*_

 **Jean:** _shut up! *cries*_

 **Marco:** __ _Ha-ha yes… I feed upon your sadness *fills cup with Jean's tears and drinks them* mmmm… yummy… *evil laughter*_

 **Jean:** _*silent sobs*_

 **The end!**

 **== A.N. ==**

 **Good times…. *laughter***

 **Poor horse face…. I thought this was funny… but idk it's up to you… I tried…**

 **So how was it?**

 **Don't you just hate those math problems that make no sense?**

 **Well thanks for reading and I hope you liked it**

 **Love you!**

 **Till next time *gives u some of Jean's tears so you can enjoy them too***


End file.
